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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29061282">and in the next life, too</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/gardevoirite/pseuds/gardevoirite'>gardevoirite</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Hololive, Virtual Streamer Animated Characters</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/F, Hanahaki Disease, Light Angst, Pining, Unrequited Love</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 08:14:28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,124</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29061282</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/gardevoirite/pseuds/gardevoirite</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Kiara awakens to nothing but bright light, and an extended hand in front of her. </p><p>The woman in front of her is gorgeous – if not for her dark attire, Kiara would think she’s face to face with an angel. When she takes the woman’s hand, a strange tickle lodges in her throat, unable to be dislodged even as she tries to cough.</p><p>.<br/>or, Kiara dies of Hanahaki Disease, and reincarnates with lost memories. Calli leads her back to the human world.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Mori Calliope/Takanashi Kiara</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>169</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>and in the next life, too</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>picture this: kiara says "i have a heart disease. it's being endlessly in love with calli. i can't do anything about it no matter how many times i die," in a superchat reading. i black out. when i open my eyes, i have this in my word documents</p><p><a href="https://twitter.com/CRUNCHY_MMLONI/status/1337627834316034048">this comic</a> also gave me inspo on some dialogue and the setting! title is, of course, from hinotori</p><p> </p><p>also, a quick definition on hanahaki disease! basically its a disease u get from unrequited love. flowers grow in the victim's lungs and they have to cough them out. it'll only be cured if your love is reciprocated. some aus also have surgery as a cure, but will result in the victim losing the ability to love as a consequence.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Kiara awakens to nothing but bright light, and an extended hand in front of her.</p><p>The woman in front of her is gorgeous – if not for her dark attire, Kiara would think she’s face to face with an angel. When she takes the woman’s hand, a strange tickle lodges in her throat, unable to be dislodged even as she tries to cough.</p><p>“How are you feeling?” the woman asks, voice gentle – something Kiara feels doesn’t suit her, though how would she know? She’s never seen this woman before. Still, it leaves her feeling warm, even when the hand holding hers is ice cold.</p><p> “Dizzy,” she says. “And I can’t remember anything.”</p><p> “Do you know your name?”</p><p>“Kiara.” It slips out unbidden, a name she didn’t even know was on her mind until she’s said it aloud.</p><p>The woman smiles, the smallest upturn of her lips. “Do you feel anything else?”</p><p>“I’m just dizzy… and I feel kind of weak.”</p><p>Something in the woman’s expression relaxes. “Good. That’s normal for you. The dizziness should go away in a few minutes.”</p><p>“How do you know?”</p><p>The woman presses her lips together and turns away, and yet she refuses to let go of her hand. In fact, she pulls on it, dragging Kiara a few inches closer to her. “Come on. You’ll feel better if you take a walk.”</p><p>They don’t speak as they walk together, the woman still holding her hand as if she worries Kiara will wander elsewhere if she doesn’t. The more Kiara looks around, the more confused she gets; she has no real memory of the human world, but she knows that this isn’t how it looks like.</p><p>The bridge they are standing on is made of some sort of white marble, and while it looks like it could fall apart any second, it continues to hold the two of them up as they cross it. When she faces forward, the bridge seems never-ending – the only thing she sees beyond it is white light. In fact, the light surrounds them everywhere she looks; behind her, when she looks down at the railings, when she looks up at the sky.</p><p>“Where are we?” she asks.</p><p>“We’re crossing the bridge connecting the underworld to the overworld. It’s about time you go back, after all.”</p><p>“Really? Can’t I stay with you?”</p><p>The woman looks away from her, keeping her eyes forward instead. “… No. As much as I prefer that you stay dead, that’s unfortunately not how your existence works.”</p><p>“Can’t I stay until my memory comes back, at least?” The thought of being completely alone and helpless until her memory comes back to her is frightening, especially since she doesn’t know how long that usually takes.</p><p>She trusts her companion, though. The thought of her leaving has her heart squeezing in her chest.</p><p>“No.”</p><p>“Why not?”</p><p>“Because if I do that, then there’d be no way I’d be able to get rid of you.” She laughs, though, quiet and soft, and Kiara feels her heart squeeze again. The tickle in her throat grows stronger.</p><p>“Eh? If I knew you hated me so much, I could’ve crossed this bridge on my own,” she says anyway, directing a pout at her.</p><p>“Oh, shut up. You know I’m just playing with you.” Strangely enough, she does. “Anyway, someone needs to watch over you until you get better. Who knows what kind of messes you’ll end up walking into? I just know that if you tried to fly right now, you’ll knock something over.”</p><p>“Calli!” she whines – and then stops.</p><p>She doesn’t know where that name came from. It was just something that came to her. As easy as her own name.</p><p>The woman – Calli – stopped moving when she did, but when she looks up, she’s smiling. “There you go. It’s only been a few minutes and you’re already remembering.”</p><p>“Your name is the first thing I remembered.” She breathes deep – it seems harder to breathe now than earlier. Like her lungs have been constricted in her chest.</p><p>“That’s usually the case.” Calli’s voice is soft, fond. “The rest will come afterwards.” She tugs Kiara’s hand again, gentle but firm, and they continue walking. She sees the bridge’s end, finally – a portal to the overworld. The edge of a city, if Kiara had to guess; there is soft grass and fields where she’s supposed to land, but she sees the skyscrapers over by the horizon.</p><p>“What kind of relationship did we have?” she asks, though the deepest part of her fears the answer. She knows what kind of relationship she’d want them to have – the way Calli holds her hand, the way she seems to know Kiara so well. The care that she shows her, masked under the easy banter they have.</p><p>“We were friends.” The reply is immediate, sure, and Calli refuses to meet Kiara’s gaze.</p><p>Kiara’s chest constricts again. “Really? I was so sure we were lovers!”</p><p>“We were good friends,” Calli reiterates. “Best friends, maybe. But we were never lovers.”</p><p>“If that’s the case,” she says, even as her breathing grows shallow. She places her free hand over her heart; even now, it’s thudding in her chest, even if it hurts. “Then I must have been in love with you. My heart beats faster when you look at me.”</p><p>She’s met with no reply, but Calli runs a thumb over the back of her hand. Comforting. Kiara feels bile bubble up in her stomach, even though she hasn’t consumed a single thing in this new life.</p><p>Soon they’re standing in front of the portal. Too soon, Kiara thinks; she wants to stay with Calli for longer.</p><p>Before she can turn to her to ask her to come with, Calli squeezes her hand.</p><p>“I know what you’re going to say. Don’t worry. I’ll stay with you for as long as you need. I need to get back to work soon, but it shouldn’t take too long for you to regain the rest of your memories.” She touches the portal with her other hand; it ripples as if it was water.</p><p>“Have you always accompanied me?”</p><p>“Of course.” Her answer comes quick, sure. “I wouldn’t just leave you alone, you know.”</p><p>The relief floods her; but it leaves her just as fast, and suddenly she’s kneeling on the ground, coughing harshly into her hands.</p><p>“Kiara!” Calli drops to her knees in front of her, a hand reaching out to rub her back. Her other hand lands on Kiara’s cheek; her touch only makes Kiara’s coughing fit worse.</p><p>Soon her coughs slow to a stop, and she’s left trying to catch her breath. Nothing comes out, though the energy she had gathered during her walk seems to have left her again.</p><p>“Is that normal for me, too?” Kiara asks, wiping at her mouth; her voice scratches her throat, coming out raspy and almost inaudible.</p><p>Calli had taken to running her fingers through Kiara’s hair, gentle and comforting. “Yes,” she says, though she refuses to look at her as she does so. “It didn’t used to, but your last few revivals do have these coughing fits.”</p><p>“Do you know why?”</p><p>“Well, <em>you</em> always refuse to tell me, so no.” Slowly, she helps Kiara back to her feet. “So, if you remember, you’d be doing me a solid if you spat it out already.”</p><p>“I’ll tell you,” she nods without hesitation, her hands still clinging onto Calli’s. “I don’t see why I should hide it from you. You care about me, after all.”</p><p>“I do, against my much better judgment.”</p><p>Her throat itches so badly it hurts, and she feels her stomach stirring again. This time, she sucks her breath in and holds it. She couldn’t bear the look on Calli’s face the first time.</p><p>“We should really go now,” Calli says, turning to face the portal again. “I shouldn’t be staying away from work for this long. Are you ready?”</p><p>She’s not. But the overworld is where she belongs, not here. Not with Calli. Never with Calli. “As ready as I’ll ever be.”</p><p>Calli moves as soon as Kiara gives her assent, almost as if in a rush. (the back of her mind wonders if she ever protested in her previous reincarnations, demanding to stay in the underworld.) She steps into the portal, tugging Kiara into it. A strange coldness washes over her, blinds her eyes so much that she has to close them. There’s a split second where she feels as if she’s floating, and within the next her bare feet land on soft dirt.</p><p>She opens her eyes. As she thought, they were in the outskirts of a city. Grass and a few trees surround her, but she spots the main road, where the occasional car passes by to and from the city. The portal closes soon enough, as if it was never there.</p><p>“The flowers are pretty here,” a voice speaks out, and her head turns to it. Calli is crouching, staring at the little patch of spider lilies near one of the trees.</p><p>She inches closer until she can crouch beside her, admiring the flowers. Red blossoms are clustered together, perked up as the sun beats down overhead. They’re beautiful, she thinks, but – “They’re not as pretty as you,” she says, before she can stop herself.</p><p>“Enough,” Calli groans, nudging Kiara’s should with her own, but not enough to knock her off balance. “Even without your memories, you act like this. But I guess I should savor the peace while I can. Once you go back to normal, you’ll be relentless.”</p><p>“What, you don’t like it?” she fakes another pout, another dejected sigh.</p><p>“I don’t. But it’d be too weird if you stopped now, so you may as well keep going.”</p><p>Nonetheless, they don’t move away from each other. They settle onto the ground, the flowers a centerpiece between them. Kiara continues asking for little details about their lives, and Calli refuses to tell her anything, saying she’ll remember in time and that she’s not about to waste her breath explaining things she already knows. Kiara hears the laugh hidden in her tone, though, the playfulness.</p><p>The sun is dipping into the horizon when Calli suddenly jolts. “Oh, shit! I didn’t notice the time. I really, really have to go now.”</p><p>A protest is on the tip of Kiara’s tongue, saying she still hasn’t retrieved most of her memories yet, though it dies before she could speak. She can’t be selfish with Calli’s time, and she’s already given her hours of it.</p><p>“Will I see you again?” she asks instead, her voice quiet. Raspy.</p><p>“It’s not like I can get rid of you, can I?” is Calli’s reply as she stands up, dusting off her dress. But she holds her hand out to Kiara, who can only admire her as she’s framed in sunset. “I’ve been stuck with you for a thousand years, Kusotori. And I’ll be stuck with you for much longer than that.”</p><p>Kiara laughs as she takes her hand, letting herself be pulled up. Calli lets go (and if she notices Kiara trying to hold on, she doesn’t comment on it) and materializes her scythe in her hands. A swing of the scythe in the air materializes another portal, like tearing through the dimensions.</p><p>“Well then, can I know when I’ll see you again?” she asks hurriedly, a last-ditch effort, before Calli can step in.</p><p>There’s a pause as Calli turns to look back at her. Then she sighs and takes Kiara’s hand, squeezing it.</p><p>“As soon as I can. Okay? Promise.”</p><p>And, before Kiara can chase after her again, she steps in. The portal closes behind her.</p><p>Later, during the late hours of the night, Kiara ducks into an empty alley, collapsing to the ground as she coughs and heaves. Her mind is racing all the while, as memory after memory floods in, giving her no reprieve.</p><p>The final memory she remembers is of Calliope – or Calli, as she’s fondly called. Of meeting her for the first time, after her very first death, of falling in love at first sight.</p><p>All the while, she remembers every death she’s ever had in Calliope’s hands. Sometimes, it’s with a scythe. Other times, it’s when Calliope isn’t there at all, and Kiara is left with flowers filling up her lungs until she takes her final breath.</p><p>When her coughs subside, she opens her eyes, blurry with exhausted tears. In front of her, covered in blood and spit, is a cluster of spider lily blossoms.</p><p>She gathers the energy to sweep them into her hands and throw them in the nearby trash can.</p><p>The next time she sees Calliope, she doesn’t tell her why she’s been coughing.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>the spider lily (aka higanbana), as well as being a prominent symbol in japan, means death and reincarnation. also, they're red c:<br/>alternatively, if calli ever gets hanahaki, i think her flower would be daffodils - meaning rebirth and unrequited love. and they're yellow!</p><p>my twitter and tumblr is @thotier!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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